I’ve been a crap blogger lately, and I’ve even thought about just hanging up my hat a few times. I’m not going to yet, though, because this all may pass one of these days and – who knows? – I might even get back into the swing of things again.
But, right now, life with the little people is kicking my ass.
Which isn’t to say they’re bad; I mean, yeah, the toddler is doing 3 by the book (and what’s the deal with “the terrible twos”?? Two was fine. A total piece of cake compared to the hellfire that is three. Three is wiping me out. Defiance, check. Ritualistic parroting of every stupid thing that comes out of my mouth, check. Mule-like stubbornness, check, check, check. I’m terrified of doing with with the baby when his time comes, seeing as how he’s got infinitely less patience as a baby than the toddler ever had – she was a paragon of patience, and right now she’s hell on wheels).
And the baby…will not wean. I know, I know; if I was any kind of good mother I’d nurse him until he was packing up the car to go to college, but, dammit, I want my own damned body back. I’m so, so, SO freaking tired of waking up in the middle of the night (because he simply cannot go without, don’tcha know), and I just want him to WEAN, DAMMIT. But…no. He refuses to take a bottle and can’t reliably drink out of much else right now, so I have to nurse just to keep him reasonably hydrated. Which is especially important since he drools like a leaky faucet. His teeth are taking the slow-and-one-at-an-excruciating-time approach, which means that he’ll probably stop teething sometime around his sixth birthday. When they start popping out. Sigh.
So, between those two, I’m down for the count. Dissertation? HA. Oh, sure, I try to write here and there, and I do okay as long as I don’t ever, ever think about the bigger picture (ie: that I’m writing one paragraph or one page, and that’s a drop in the ocean relative to how long the damned thing’s got to be). But every so often I think about it, and then I get paralyzed through the sheer weight of the thing.
There are good things, I suppose. The toddler is finally, finally peeing in the potty. Not pooping, of course – because that would just be too easy. But she is peeing, and that’s something. The baby is taking semi-regular naps now – he goes down, but how long he stays is still up in the air. On good days, he does a good two hours in the afternoon. On bad days, about 20 minutes.
But, they’re naps, and that’s better than the no naps he wasn’t taking before.
So, anyway, this is why I’ve been AWOL. I’ve been entertaining myself to death with J-Network’s Japanese TV service (so much fun! And since I never get out and have no social life, I can justify the money it costs), and M. just got us a Chumby to play with, too. It’s a silly little contraption, but kind of fun. And it helps me to wean the toddler off the TV.
Gorgeous day outside…I think we’ll all go have a walk soon.
