Christmas Eve

And I’m still three presents short – two (for my sister/brother and respective spouses) are little homemade things that will not be done by tomorrow.  One is an Ebay purchase that shipped via USPS on the 17th and has yet to surface – and it’s for M2.  Oops.  She’ll have things to open tomorrow, and this one was a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing, not something she’d asked for, but still.  Of course, this is what happens when you buy so close to Christmas, so there’s that.

Since M2 is only 3 and our lives have been chaos almost since she was born, M. and I still haven’t quite figured out how to ‘do’ Christmas.  Since we’ll be at my parents’ house this year, and my sister and her family will also be there, we’re doing what they do (which is how my parents did it when we were kids) by default.  This means the usual cookies and milk for Santa, fairly modest stockings, and (the one M. can’t quite wrap his head around) leaving the present for Santa unwrapped and sparkling in the early morning light on Christmas morning.  For some reason, M. thinks this is weird, but he has yet to give me any kind of definitive answer about what they did when he was a kid (was there Santa?  Did he wrap presents?  These are things I’d like to know).  I wanted to be much more organized this Christmas, but I feel like I’m even less on top of things than I was last year, when I’d just given birth and was recovering from a C-section.

I’ve gotten my Christmas present, though: project babyweaning is going swimmingly, and I’ve been basking in blissful sleep ever since we started.  C.’s still waking up a bit – mostly in the early morning (3 am – on), but he’s also been putting himself back to sleep until 7 am or so.  The result is that I’m an entirely more pleasant person – I smile!  I laugh!  I put things into perspective (more or less)!  It’s been great; we’ll see what going out to California on Friday does to the project.

Peace and Quiet

This is the first morning since C. was born that I’m up before anyone else, having spent the entire night in bed. It’s pure bliss.

C. had a fitful night: woke up at his usual appointed hours, and he was Unamused (in the Queen way) when M. went in, told him gently-but-firmly “Go night-night, C.” That engendered much screaming, complete with baby expletives (you could just kind of tell that he was swearing) and much jumping up and down. But he did finally settle down, and when he woke up at his usual times after that, he settled back down even more quickly than the time before. He stirred and cranked a bit at 7 (it’s 7:40 now), and then went BACK to sleep again.

So, Best Night Ever.

In the meantime, M2 spent half of yesterday afternoon saying, “I’m going to have a good sleepover, Mommy. But I’ll be sad because I’ll miss you. But just a little bit.” She was having dinner when we left, and just before we took off she insisted on having a tissue from the box, so she could blow her nose and wipe her eyes of tears when we left. Which she did. Repeatedly, as we kept not leaving (quote: “When are you going, Mommy?”). M. said, “Great, we have a drama queen.”

Into the abyss

Well, our addendum was partially accepted (furnace yes, crawlspace no), and we decided to proceed with the purchase, so if we get the loan we applied for we should be on our way to owning a home.  The feelings I have about it are complicated and kind of contradictory; on the one hand, I’m happy that we’ll have something that’s truly ours and that we’ll be able to make into what we want, rather than always deferring to a landlord.  I’m really excited that we will have bedrooms for both of the kids, which may (may) help with some of the sleep issues, and which will certainly cut down on toys scattered around the house.

On the other hand, it’s all very terrifying in a way, and we still have some hurdles to get over.  We haven’t been approved for a loan yet (we were preapproved), and it looks like we have some stuff yet to pull together before that all happens.  Since we’ll be traveling to SoCal next Friday and will be gone for about 10 days, I’m a little worried about what will happen if we have to attend to some house-related crisis.  M.’s disability and the fact of not one, but two small children means that if one person leaves to take care of something, we all leave – there is no staying behind.  There’s also a LOT of work that needs to be done on the house before we move in, and I’m anxious about all of that – cost, family harmony (my dad is the primary contractor, and since we’re supposed to be joining him and my mom in Hawaii for a week not long after we’d probably move in, I’d like for us all to still be on speaking terms), design – you name it.

I guess I should just let go of my anxiety, make some lists of things that need to be taken care of, take a deep breath, and get to work.  Or concentrate on my more immediate project: tomorrow night marks the beginning of Babyweaning! – The Nighttime Feedings.  Wish us luck.

Baby is One!

So the baby boy turns 1 today, and this marks the 364th day I haven’t slept through the night (he slept through the night exactly one time, a few weeks ago when he was down for the count with a cold). He’s been nursing through the night (I’m talking 6/7ish, 10/11ish, 1:30ish, 4:30ish – he’s practically still on a newborn schedule, for the love of God) for what seems like an eternity, and I’ve decided that 1 year marks as good a point as any to learn about disappointment and change.

So, come Friday night, we’re sending the 3 year old away to my parents’ house and embarking on what will likely prove to be a very long night of baby anger (not so much tears – he just gets MAD if he doesn’t get his way, the little pi**er). Because I just can’t take it anymore. I know I should probably nurse him until he’s about ready to pack up for college, but my health is actually suffering from the chronic lack of good sleep, and it’s time for C. to contribute to – as I read another blogger mention somewhere – the family harmony.

(FWIW, I’m not asking him to go cold turkey. We just need to stop doing it all night long).

And today is M2’s preschool program. It promises to be an amusing and adorable 12-minute extravaganza.

Plans

I think I might try to start using this as a daily journal kind of thing, since I clearly don’t have the time/energy/inclination to spend time crafting meaningful posts.  I do find that blogs that chronicle daily ins and outs are interesting in their own ways, and give a nice picture of life as it’s really lived.  We’ll see.

In the meantime, just to bring everyone up to speed (“everyone” being, of course, the three people who are still reading here): M2 has recovered nicely from her (apparent) allergic reaction to amoxicillin, one ER trip later.  She had a miserable few days there, but once we discontinued the medicine she started slowly showing improvement.  Now she’s bouncing off the walls and getting ready for her preschool Christmas program (all two songs of it).

The house thing is ongoing.  We put an offer on a foreclosure, which was accepted.  However, there was one furnace issue (we knew about it) and one crawlspace issue (we didn’t) that we decided need to be remediated by the bank, not us (there’s loads of other issues with the house, but we’re prepared to take those on, since they’re largely cosmetic).  So we’re sending an addendum back today, and we’ll see what happens with that.  It would be a good house for us, I think – it’s basically the house we’re currently renting (same model, same layout), but with a substantial new addition in the back that makes it possible for every kid to have a bedroom.  But…we’ll see.

In the meantime, I’m trying to scrape together Christmas presents and hoping that Amazon is serious when they say that the stuff I ordered yesterday will be here by the 24th.  Dissertation is currently dead in the water, but I’m still paying tuition and registering for diss credit, so I guess I’m still in the game.  Trip to in-laws on the 26th – wish us luck!