Into the abyss

Well, our addendum was partially accepted (furnace yes, crawlspace no), and we decided to proceed with the purchase, so if we get the loan we applied for we should be on our way to owning a home.  The feelings I have about it are complicated and kind of contradictory; on the one hand, I’m happy that we’ll have something that’s truly ours and that we’ll be able to make into what we want, rather than always deferring to a landlord.  I’m really excited that we will have bedrooms for both of the kids, which may (may) help with some of the sleep issues, and which will certainly cut down on toys scattered around the house.

On the other hand, it’s all very terrifying in a way, and we still have some hurdles to get over.  We haven’t been approved for a loan yet (we were preapproved), and it looks like we have some stuff yet to pull together before that all happens.  Since we’ll be traveling to SoCal next Friday and will be gone for about 10 days, I’m a little worried about what will happen if we have to attend to some house-related crisis.  M.’s disability and the fact of not one, but two small children means that if one person leaves to take care of something, we all leave – there is no staying behind.  There’s also a LOT of work that needs to be done on the house before we move in, and I’m anxious about all of that – cost, family harmony (my dad is the primary contractor, and since we’re supposed to be joining him and my mom in Hawaii for a week not long after we’d probably move in, I’d like for us all to still be on speaking terms), design – you name it.

I guess I should just let go of my anxiety, make some lists of things that need to be taken care of, take a deep breath, and get to work.  Or concentrate on my more immediate project: tomorrow night marks the beginning of Babyweaning! – The Nighttime Feedings.  Wish us luck.